Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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