I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize