Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
