just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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