I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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