I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
