When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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