I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
