Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize