Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Randomize
