Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
