I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
