I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
