Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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