also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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