Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
