She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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