Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
apparently the secret to your success is patron
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
only you would photoshop your dick
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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