I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Fuck appropriateness.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
