Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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