ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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