Buhtt sex?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The uberlube is also flammable
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
