I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize