The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
