Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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