It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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