he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
