Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
