mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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