I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
