I skipped work to stalk him.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Randomize
