We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
