Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
