i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
