he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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