try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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