singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
