why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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