he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
