The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
