WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
My vagina just recognized that song.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Randomize
