"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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