bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize