3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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