3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
