New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
