i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
All the doctor said was why
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
