got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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