think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
