he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
