WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
