so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Pooping to opera.
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