So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
