Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
