i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
