it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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