Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
