For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
You pole danced in your parka.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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