did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
