another moral hangover. fuck.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
