giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
